GUEST POST - "Welcome to the Real World"

So we have decided to start having a guest poster every once in a while if we hear a story from them that we deem worthy. Matthew Godfrey had the pleasure of hearing Coral and Landon from Real World fame speak at the University of Southern Mississippi's orientation. Congratulations Matthew Godfrey on being selected as our first guest poster.


"I don't fight, I don't argue, I just beat that bitch wit' a bottle" - Coral

I will begin my post by safely assuming that all readers are familiar with Coral Smith from The Real World season 10 "Back to New York." If you aren't, you may want to reconsider before any further appraisal of this composition. Last night, I had the erratic and noteworthy opportunity of seeing Coral in person. I am currently serving as a USM orientation leader as a part of Southern's first year experience program. Our theme this year for Welcome Week is Welcome to the Real World. And..boy has it turned out to be a real treat. In keeping with the theme, Southern Miss invited both Coral and Landon Lueck from season 15 Philadelphia to speak at last nights opening convocation. The moment we had all been waiting for, drum roll please, Coral appears in a pair or sewn-on jeans with the waist line descending at least 12 inches below her exposed mid-drift, a white wife-beater that I presuppose she purchased at Baby Gap, and a straw cowboy hat and boots to match. Coral was asked to come and verbalize her account of what college was like as a Freshman. We expected humor, crudeness, and even vulgarity from Coral, we got so much more. As if her outfit alone wasn't enough to leave my jaw on the floor, Coral began by introducing herself, along with her titties, to the crowd by asking one of the new Freshman men to come and retrieve a slip of paper that she had hidden amongst her cleavage. Throughout her ten minutes on stage, I think Coral made use of the word fuck more single times than I have ever heard in my entire life combined. Congratulations Coral. I was amazed by her ability to motivate the new students with phrases like "What's the big fucking deal about being a freshman?" and "You mothafuckas have four more fucking shitty years left." Upon realizing that some people were appalled at her language, she preceded to ask the crowd what the big deal was, and if she had landed in the mothafuckin bible belt? To top it off Landon made a comment about wearing a condom and having safe sex. Don't even get Coral started. She wanted to make sure the ladies plan to use protection too. She made the comment "I know we got some fuckin lesbians in the crowd!" With little response she continued "I know some of your mothafuckin bitches like to eat pussy!!" Don't reread. That's correct. Pussy. Over the loudspeaker in front of Southern Miss' new students, orientation leaders, parents, faculty, and administration. Way to go Coral. While being escorted off-stage, She was able to form some sort of apology by acknowledging our lack of censorship, she explained that she is used to MTV bleeping out her obscenities. Awesome Coral, your refinement and sophistication astounds me. And by the way, welcome to the real world Southern Miss students!