From Jay Leno
Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, "According to Playboy, in a Playboy poll of college women, 57% of college women would cheat on their boyfriend with Angelina Jolie. 20% would cheat with Britney Spears, and 12% of women would sleep with Paris Hilton. Here's my question -- where the hell is this college?"

Sidenote: I think this college is called Clinton High School

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, "According to In Touch magazine, Jessica Simpson may drop her last name and may just be called Jessica. When asked if her husband Nick Lachey would do the same thing, she said, 'Why would he want to be called Jessica?'"

Bless her


You Might Be Britney's Baby if.....

If when you're born, even the placenta has a mullet

If your stroller is already out in the yard on cinderblocks

If someone asked your mom, "Hey, you want to buy a Lay-Z-Boy?" And she says, "I already got one, my husband."

If your dad works almost every day. And by that I mean almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.

If when you were born the doctor slapped your dad and said "get a job"


New Guinness World Record

A man just broke the world "couch potato" record for the most hours spent watching TV. He watched TV for 70 consecutive hours as part of a Guinness Book of Records week on "Live with Regis and Kelly". The record-breaker could only watch ABC. Rules for the couch potato honor, as stipulated by Guinness, allow for a 5-minute break every hour and a 15-minute break every 8 hours. The viewer must otherwise be constantly looking at the screen. The record breaker, who lives in Toronto but hails from Sri Lanka, now holds more than 16 Guinness records, including the longest duration balancing on one foot (76 hours, 40 minutes) and bowling for 100 hours. He does it, he says, to raise awareness of suffering children.

So I might need to make a call to Guinness. I think I have broken this couch potato record on multiple occasions; however, I would not be able to watch ABC for that long. I can only handle Kelly Ripa for two minutes. After that, I have to go throw up and take an advil. What gets me are the TV marathons. I know other people who are guilty of this, but if a Real World/Road Rules Challenge marathon comes on, I drop EVERYTHING. I will cancel anything and everything to hear Katie call Veronica a "zit faced, JLO wannabe". I wonder if there is a record for most consecutive hours of watching showchoir tapes, because I think I would have that record as well. So whats up with this guy saying he breaks all these records to raise awareness of suffering children? Does balancing on one foot for 76 hours or watching TV for 70 hours really make people aware of suffering children? If watching TV makes people aware of suffering children, then just call me Sally Struthers because I help children all day every day.