There is no hope for us

I am pulling myself together after I just read some very upsetting news. Talan and Kimberly Stewart are calling it quits. What is happening? All of the mega-couples are calling it quits -- Brad and Jen, Nick and Jessica, and now Talan and Kimberly. I thought it was true love. I thought it was for forever. They had only been dating a few weeks when they announced their engagement, but I'm sure those were magical weeks filled with alcohol, sex, drugs, and outings with Paris. If two love birds like Talan and Kimberly can't stay together, is there really hope for the rest of us?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10222635/

Make Room For Daddy

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving, all! Can anyone believe the news about Jess & Nick? Who saw this coming?
More stuff to come.
Be blessed.

LAGUNA BEACH FANS NOTICE!!!

http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1131527,00.html

Delta Delight

Greetings, all...hope erryone enjoyed the finale of LB on Monday...I did not have the privelage because I was in fine dining hell. But whatever, I'm not bitter.
Moving on...
I thought last night that maybe I'd died and gone to heaven, because I sure came face to face with an angel. Who, you may be asking? Or, to be correct, whom? None other than Delta "Suzanne Sugarbaker" Burke. That's right, folks...Suzanne was all up in the PPC!! Some of you may know that this past summer, I had the privelage of waiting on Brook Burke (sidenote...that makes me think of Wild On! which then makes me think of Taradise, which then makes my stomach upset and not in a gassy way, and then I feel like I need to wash my sheets and run by the free clinic but I digress). Anyway...let me just say...Delta is my favorite Burke. Girl looks good. Sure she's had a little (read: lot) nip/tuck done...but its working for her. It is odd that she looks more like the 1988 Suzanne Sugarbaker than the 1991 Suzanne or the 1997 whatever-her-characters-name-was-on-short-lived-sitcom. I'm pretty sure that skin that was formerly on her chest has now been lifted to form her face, but it looks good. It does seem that the work has left her with a perma-grin. But girl looked beautiful...she's slimmed down...I'd say a size 6 or 8 maybe. Hair was perhaps a little over-processed, but good. Walked like she had just won Miss Florida 1974 all over again. Spoke just like Suzanne. Noticeably absent: Mesach Taylor. Also noticeably absent: Major Dad. Where was her husband? The other people present had escorts. What does this mean?
Anyway...I'm going to work on pictures again...blogger and I hate each other...but it appears that ellipsis points and I are best of friends.
Anyway...be blessed, children...AND POST!
LOVE!

LAGUNA BEACH DISCUSSION IV - NOVEMBER 14

LAGUNA, HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!!

First let me start by saying that I'm not sure I liked the commercial free episode. I had no time to accomplish anything. I couldn't call Chandra to discuss what was happening. I had to take a shit and I had to hold it in the whole time. They need to give us a break.

How grossed out was everybody when Cedric said,"Its knarly seeing everyone going their own way." Since when do people use the word "Knarly". I'm not even sure how to spell it. The last time I heard that word was in the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure in 1989.

The view from LC's house took my breath away. She is perfect in every way. I would park a trailer on that land and live there for the rest of my life.

Stephen conveniently comes around to LC when that bitch Kristin isn't there. Then he runs to Kristin to love up on her. Stephen, move on!!! Neither of them want you! You are yesterday's news!! Go fuck Jessica's sister!!

Even though I hate her, how proud was everybody that Kristin showed some emotion?!?

How many times in this episode did somebody say "weird". It's weird that we're leaving.....It just feels weird.......Isn't this weird........It's weird that we used to get ready right here....I feel weird.......Jessica is weird

I thought it was funny when Kristin, Alex H., and Jessica were in the room together. First Kristin said,"Isn't it weird that we used to get ready right here. Me and you in there....And Jessica out here". They won't even let Jessica get ready near them. Then Kristin says to Alex H.,"Thank GOD I don't have to say goodbye to you. I don't know what I would do." While Jessica is standing there thinking, "What bitch, its so easy to say goodbye to me?"

Why is everybody crying so much?? I may be mistaken, but I think Laguna Beach is not much more than an hour from L.A. They are not even going that far!! AND most of them are going to be together in L.A. I know Jessica is going to be busy with her classes at Laguna Beach Delta Community College, but surely she can make time to drive the short distance to visit.

Do they get paid for this show?? If so, surely Stephen would trade in his Toyota Tacoma extended cab pickup truck.

Why did they have this long dramatic ending montage about Kristin?? Who cares about that bitch!!! We want more of Casey's maid!!

Let me just say that I'm already obssessed. I was not aware that LC had a sister. Laguna Beach 3 looks like there are some skank bitches up on there. I can't wait. And to top it all off, "The Hills"!!! LC has her own show!!!! Where am I going to find all the time for this?!?!?! Maybe I'll just quit my job and live with my parents forever. Whatever it takes to support LC.

Other Info:

This is supposedly Alex H.'s xanga. Tell me if you think it's real...
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=xluvsjuicyx

By the way, comments have gotten less and less each week. (Thank you to the regulars- Chandra, Angela, Salla-Matthew, Caitlyn) You people need to get on the ball. I know you have more to say. Some people, like Diana Evans, have an excuse - they like Kristin. The only way we allow positive posts to be made about Kristin is if you follow that comment with an even more positive comment about LC. Thanks! Happy posting!!

I HATE BLOGGER

So, kids...I'm not dead...just unable to make a freakin post. I've got my senior portraits ready to post on Saturday...wait for it.
In other news, I waited on a lady today wearing bear-covered scrubs...and what did her angel-adorned nametag say? "Desiree Flurry, LPN" She smelled like a 1988 Ford Aerostar Minivan with no air full of 9 or 10 illegal immigrants driving through Death Valley in August. I not only shat on myself, but I shat on the walls and everyone around me.
Shout outs to some of our newest readers...Mandy (my Boo) as well as Jason and Philip (or Phillip). Welcome!
Alas, I just tried 8 times to load a picture to no avail, so I'm going to return to the ole PPC.
Blessings, all.
KFed

LAGUNA BEACH DISCUSSION III - NOVEMBER 7

These are my comments on last night's episode of Laguna Beach. Feel free to comment.

-Even though I hate her, I want to give Kristin props for calling Jessica out on being a slut. I think she said that Jessica kissing Jason was "Fucking Gay". I couldn't really tell what she said. They bleeped it out.

-Alex B. said it best when she said,"Freakin' A. Everyone needs to just get over Jason". Alex B. definitely showed us that she was over Jason while going barefoot and making out with Jason in the parking lot of prom. Such a class act.

-LC decided to have a party and had the great idea,"We should have it catered." It must be nice to have the money to cater a high school party. When I was in high school, our parties usually included at least three of the following: Alcohol, nudity, drama, lesbian making out, drugs, sex, rock n' roll, fights, waffle house, a physical encounter with trashy kids from a neighboring town, crying, more alcohol, vomiting, and maybe a bag of chips. Unfortunately, we never had any parties catered.

-Taylor could not believe she only had a few days left in Laguna. I liked how Stephen gave Taylor this long story about, "When I left....blah blah blah". Since when is Stephen the authority on leaving? He was away from Laguna for about five minutes.

-Did anyone else notice how there were no cars in LC's driveway when Kristin drove up? Do you think they had valet? It WAS catered, so I wouldn't be surprised. Add "valet" to the list of things that we did not have at our high school parties. (Unless you count the time that Paul Martin took my car without permission and ran it into my garage)

-Kristin put on this long speech about how she is so mature now and her feud with LC is just high school. Well LC made a peace offering by inviting Kristin to her party. How did Kristin repay her? She shows up to the party wearing a trashy jean skirt and doesn't even speak to LC!!! She giggles and sits at another table, then takes Stephen with her when she leaves!! Who is mature now, Kristin?!?! LC is so above them.

-Jason(on the phone to Jessica), "You wanna cruise by real quick?" Jessica nonchalantly responds, "Sure" as she frantically punches the gas, turns the wheel, hops a curb, runs over a small child, outruns the police, and arrives at Jason's house 2.3 seconds later. I think she was already riding by Jason's house stalking him. I've had a few friends who have been known to do that.

-Jason must borrow cars from people. He was driving a Jeep Cherokee, but last night he was in a BMW. What do you drive Jason? Last night's episode also showed Jason sitting on some steps. Was that his house? I can't remember if it said Jason's house. I'm still sticking by my theory that he lives in a trailer.

LAGUNA BEACH FUN

(Pictures of Taylor's fun a U. of Arizona -- http://community.webshots.com/album/455275513GnigVY

Lauren's official website -- www.LaurenConrad.com

real updates--

---Alex H. is moving in with Alex M. (and out of Kristin's place ? scandalous!) in Los Angeles. Alex M. recently set her up with a guy in a band and they are now dating.
---Casey's stepdad invented the frozen burrito and she lives in the old Gucci mansion in Laguna, according to Alex M. "MTV kind of forced me to be friends with her," she said.
---Alex M. is recording an album. So is Talan.
---Jason(currently dating LC), Stephen, and Dieter live together in Los Angeles in a 16th floor high-rise. Jason and Stephen are taking acting classes; Dieter is interning at a talent agency. None of them cleans the apartment. "You walk in there and you don't even see the floor," Jason said.
---Kristin just scored a small role in an upcoming Al Pacino movie called "88 Minutes." She doesn't know what the part is, and she didn't have to audition.
---Stephen is currently single and looking. He wants someone who is mature, has a good personality, loves to have fun and "can keep up." And by the way, he never hooked up with Paris Hilton.

LAGUNA BEACH DISCUSSION II - OCTOBER 31

I'm not putting the discussion in question form this time, but everyone should still post comments. Many people feel very strongly about what goes on at LBHS. This is the place where you can freely voice your opinon (unless you have anything negative to say about LC).

-I liked how Kristin's little opening voiceover said, "We were just hoping we could get through one night without drama." The camera then cut to Jessica. That was the producers's way of saying, "That night without drama? Yeah, that's not going to happen."

-Then the 3 mouseketeers, consisting of Kristen, Alex H., and Jessica, start dissing on LC and Jason's relationship. They said she has problems with her men. Jessica even said, "She must like getting hurt". OK, Jessica is dogging on somebody else's ability to have a healthy relationship. Something is wrong here.

-Why does Jessica try to start drama over anything. I'm glad Jessica learned a lesson in production -- "dress rehearsal" usually means you put on the clothes you are going to use for the performance. While Jessica was trying to make drama out of nothing, it cut to Talan who was so excited about all of the outfits he gets to wear.

-Why are my ears still bleeding from Talan's concert? If I have to hear Alex B.'s voice again, I'm either going to kill her, or myself. Is this all the talent there is in Laguna Beach? Surely someone can tell jokes or do some magic tricks. I would even take a dramatic reading or baton twirling over their singing.

-I'm so glad Alex H. got to walk down the runway by herself. She is finally starting to get the respect she deserves. Kristen even had to share the runway with somebody(Heidi). By the way, who the hell is Heidi?

-Jason just started out the night lying. LC said she wasn't a big fan of girls sitting on his lap. "She just sat down," lied Jason, conveniently forgetting how he pulled Jessica over. Watch out LC. He's a cold-hearted snake. Look into his eyes. Uh oh. He's been telling lies.

-Did anyone notice the big stage mom with back fat wearing the pink dress? What the hell was she doing? She's fat, she doesn't belong in that town. Whose mom do you think she is?

-Why is Jessica such a lying slut??!!??!!

-When Dieter called Jessica, she lied right to him. "When would Jason and I have kissed ever?" Jessica asked. Well, there was that time when you two were dating. And then that time when Jason and Alex were dating. And then that time five minutes ago when Jason and LC were dating. What I don't understand is, why do these people lie when they know that cameras are watching their every move? Eventually the truth comes out. Jason and Jessica are both going to get what they deserve, an unhappy life with each other.

-Why wasn't Jessica's sister in the fashion show?

-Why wasn't Casey's maid in the fashion show? or at least making Quesadillas for it

-So Dieter really stepped it up by being a good friend to LC. I'll admit, when she almost broke down, I almost broke down. Dieter was saying "Hold it in", and I was trying to hold it in. LC kept herself together, and so did I. Props to Dieter.

-Do we maybe secretly want LC to end up with Dieter? Originally, I thought he looked like he had Down's Syndrome, but he really stepped up to the plate for LC.

Fun quiz --- What Laguna Beach character are you? (It only includes the girls)
http://www.ym.com/jsp//quiz/aug2605.jsp